


Eye Spy-der

by Icarus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Hogwarts Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-16
Updated: 2006-06-16
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:07:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10769589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus/pseuds/Icarus
Summary: Percy doesn't think this is a good idea.





	Eye Spy-der

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: Ficlet written for Mad Maudlin. Yes, unbelievably, I actually wrote Het  


* * *

"Are you quite sure that people do this?" 

Percy lifted his head from between Penny's bent knees, feeling perfectly humiliated. 

But Penny brandished her evidence, slapping the issue of _Witch Weekly_ on the covers of his bed. There it was in black and white: _"101 Ways Wizards Can Please Witches (But Usually Don't)."_ It was number seven. 

A few of these options had caught Percy's interest, but naturally Penny picked one that hadn't; one he couldn't imagine liking at all. 

They were ostensibly "studying" in his room, which proved once again that having a reputation for being good gave one plenty of leeway when one chose to be bad. Charlie could never have had a girl in room. At least not with the door closed and a Silencing Charm. 

Her dress was bunched up around her hips however, a sight he certainly did enjoy. He slid his hands along her warm thighs till he found her panties. They had crinkly lace trim around the edges with two tiny satin bows on each side where he pulled them down over smooth, slightly bony legs. 

He pretended not to notice the crust of something white on the cotton as he slid them off. After all, he didn't always shake himself enough. 

Her hair down there was a darker blonde, almost brunette, which he already knew but always appreciated. He wished he'd unbuttoned her blouse, come to think of it, picturing what her breasts might look like from this angle. But it was probably wisest to stay dressed... 

Well. Mostly dressed. His own underwear was off and kicked under the bed, though his near nakedness was hidden under long robes. If she said yes _this_ time, he'd be ready. He'd never forgiven himself the time after a Hogwarts Quidditch match when she'd been so excited (and it only bothered him a little that it was over Oliver Wood, since obviously _Oliver_ didn't have Penny, soft and smelling like soap, kissing him madly and climbing him like a _tree_ ). But it had taken him forever to find a convenient location, secure the area, take off his over-robe, unbutton the under-robe, unbuckle his trousers... and well, she hadn't been interested any more. They'd cuddled instead. 

Rule number one: Always be prepared. 

"Percy..." Penny whinged. 

Percy shook himself out of his reverie. And cringed. "Are you sure you don't want to try something else that... no! no!" Penny had leaned up on her elbows, eyes blazing with exasperation. "Don't get up!" 

Percy eased her back down, a hand cupped behind her head. "There, a nice soft pillow for you, there you go...." Cornflower blue eyes blinked up at him warily, her blonde hair spilling around her face, but all signs were still a go. Percy picked up the magazine. "Let me just... review this..." The eyes looked noticeably more irritated. "Okaaaay...." he breathed as he dropped it, and bent down, leaving the page open to the description for quick reference. 

He nudged closer where he could see the pink line dividing the middle of her... well, anyway. He shut one eye as he peered at it, because otherwise he saw double which was... distracting. His heart raced. He gave an experimental, hairy lick, and wrinkled his nose: she did _not_ smell like scented soap down here. He backed away. 

Then he saw it. 

Perched on the headboard just above Penny's head. About four inches across. Two of its eight legs waved in the air as it lifted up to get a better view. It was red and blue. 

Plaid. 

It was a red and blue _plaid_ spider. 

An _Eye Spy-der!_

"Damn you, Fred and George!" 

Percy grabbed the magazine and swatted it, but the thing just bounced down to the pillow -- where Penny spotted it and shrieked, scrabbling at her hair. Three more swats missed, and it leapt to the floor then skittered under the door. 

"What is all this noise?" 

Percy's mum tromped up the stairs. A quick glance over his shoulder showed that Penny's dress was back down, though she looked a tad rumpled -- which could be explained neatly by spiders. He flung open his door. 

"Penny and I were revising quietly when I caught Fred and George _spying!_ " 

He pointed at the offenders' room. The Eye Spy-der wriggled on the floor, attempting to retreat. There was smothered laughter from behind the door. 

"Yeah. We were learning loads," came a muffled voice. 

Molly stomped on the Spy-der. "How is your brother supposed to prepare for his N.E.W.T.s with the two of you bothering him?!" 

There was more spluttering. 

"There's a N.E.W.T. in that?" 

"Where do I sign up?" 

"At long last, a practical education." They dissolved into snickers. 

Percy's mum sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry, Penny dear. I don't know what to do with those two." 

Penny had come up behind Percy; his eyes widened slightly as he noted her surreptitiously slipping her panties into a pocket. "That's okay," she said, sounding perfectly cool and calm. 

"It will suppertime shortly at any rate, as good a moment for a break as any I suppose." 

Percy kicked the flattened Eye Spy-der under the door for good measure. Frankly though, he had never been so grateful for an interruption in all his life. 


End file.
